Flight

I understand everyone goes through stress. As I ramble on in my next post, know that in many ways I am very lucky and there are far worse situations I can be in. I have my health, I have a purpose in my career, I have a husband that comforts me when I feel defeated and quickly reminds me to 'walk it off'. He says that because my that's my dad's saying, and he reminds me to be proud of who Ive become. It was how I was raised. Brush yourself off and take care of what you need to do. Be bigger than a defeat.

First time I remembered hearing my dad say it, I had fallen off my bike when he was teaching me to ride without training wheels. It was not cold hearted in the least, he knew I was alright but he also knew without a coach i would just go home, and pout. In that moment, I never wanted to see a bike again. Just hearing 'walk it off' made me try again that afternoon. On the basketball court at school. Where I ran right into the pole. Walk it off.

Needless to say, I learned to ride the bike pretty fast after that. I had a job as a papergirl for a year with my new found skills, must have been around 9. Working for what I had was a daily lesson, and my dad, I am sure, was damn proud of me when I landed the gig. I did get let go in a massive layoff. 5 kids were replaced with a delivery truck. We were told in a letter on the stack of newspapers, our last run. But I walked it off.

I am a fighter still but its just now, at age 29, that I understand it's more than just getting over tough situations, its a tool for survival. No self defined victim is ever happy or healthy. No victim ever survives when there is just a small chance to do so. That lesson came as an adult, when I watch others struggle to live or to recover.

I have been tested in the last few weeks.

When I train at Crossfit, its so much more than just getting physically stronger. My coaches naturally tap into my need to be told to walk it off, and I am mental powerhouse because of it. I get it done.

I haven't always been so determined. My terrible habit of fleeing from discomfort put my life on pause for years. I would avoid, procrastinate and sabotage my body, my checkbook and my spirit. In my last few weeks of clarity and milestones, this is the lesson I take with me: never again.

I am over half way into my 90 day no drinking, no carbs, no sugar, no dairy challenge. Even with work, family and life stress, I have refused to fall and eat crap. I am the best of myself. That is the most unexpected side effect so far, besides the fact I HAVE HAD NO ALLERGIES THIS YEAR! God, I can't get over that.

My weight loss stalled for about two weeks, and just when I was really starting to question myself and I was going to write my coach for advice, I started losing again. Down two more pounds and an unknown amount of inches! I wore the famous 'had it since college, only can wear when Im skinny' jacket again today. Its way too big now. My new curves are loss behind a once super snug, in the back on the closet, 'one day' article of clothing.

Another small thing that has helped me through daily challenges, is of course my mini-victories at Crossfit. I get tons of encouragement. Lots of 'walk it off' types of sayings.

One at a time.

Get back up.

Pull hard.

UP UP UP.

But I got an extra cool one yesterday. When sprinting, putting probably too much effort into the first round, one of my coaches SCREAMED as I was coming down hill 'LOOK AT YOU, YOU'RE FLYING!' That has carried with me since. I fly.

Wonder what I will do tomorrow morning with my 8am crew?

continue to surprise myself.